ancestry. I have discovered I am descendent of a princess a baron, and

                 even a knight.

                 I moved in with my people two weeks ago, no matter how much I

                 complained I was put in something which gave me the impression that I

                 was not in Highlittleton anymore. I was picked up by someone who

                 smelled different, and held me close and made funny noises with their

                 face. I seemed to be surrounded by these strange funny noise making

                 faces. My mother had always told me to be polite, so I did what every

                 puppy would do in my situation, wagged my tail very fast. They hugged

                 and put their hands all over me, I liked it very much, so I gave them my

                 secret weapon, a big wet kiss. They couldn't get enough of it, which is

                 good because I had lots of it to give. I was then put down to meet the rest

                 of the household. One moment I was being hugged and the next minute I

                 had wet noses all over me, I was in heaven. I new enough of these wet

                 noses to know that one of them would give me a well-earned drink of milk.

                 So I searched and searched but couldn't find her. There was one

                 (whose name I discovered later was called Lily) she had these things

                 hanging from her, like my mum did but there was no milk there,

                 and boy did I try. She spoke to me in a cross voice and told me to mind

                 my manners, stay still so she could check me over, to see if I was of good

                 breeding. " Me? I was out of royalty for goodness sake". There seemed to

                 be hundreds of noses, but I'm still learning my maths, there turned out to

                 be only four. There was Lily, she loves me, she told me that her children

                 had only just left home and that she would look after me and teach me

                 everything that I should know to please the one who must be obeyed.

                 There was Herman who did his best to avoid me ( which he discovered

                 was no easy task, as I made it my job to check out the whole household)

                 he only got cross when I decided to check out his tail. Then there was

                 Paige, she was very good at playing hide and seek, but I've grown in two

                 weeks and now I can easily find her on the bed. Then last of all there was

                 Tia, she was the classed as the baby, until I came along. She told me not

                 to get too comfortable, as she would always be "she who must be obeyed"

                 baby. I told her with a name like Salem I was going to be no baby.

 
                 My first night was very strange, but "she" stayed with me, I kept telling her

                 that I missed my Mum, but "she" complained that my constant talking was

                 keeping her awake, so I let her have a nap and started again very early in

                 the morning, I must have been talking very loud though as everybody in

                 the house was up soon after that.

                 2.11.99

                 I've been living with my new family for nearly six weeks now, and boy, I

                 surely have grown. I've done a lot of reorganising in this home too,

                 although I'm not quite sure that "she" agrees with my effort. I've decided

                 that the kitchen needs to be redecorated so I've started to strip the wall

                 paper. I also decided that the computer plug wasn't wired properly so I

                 took it off. Then I thought that I'd help with washing the living room carpet,

                 by dragging the water bowl into the living room and tipping it over.

                 But my favourite is helping with the washing. I've helped out so much that

                 I thought that my name had changed to NO!!

                 Another thing I'm having fun with is my toilet training, It's part of my job to

                 keep "her" on her toes. "She thinks I'm a little "slow" with it. But lets face it,

                 who's the one who gets the treats when I go outside to do it. If I went

                 outside all the time I wouldn't get the treats would I?

                 Sometimes I try to fool her by going outside, and coming back in again

                 without doing anything, but she's very smart, well you can't blame a pup

                 for trying can you?

                 You never guess what, I can now get on "her" bed without any help,

                 sanctuary for no man or dog now. Mind you "she" uses me to her

                 advantage when there is a "him" to get up.

                 Tia likes me a lot now, which is just as well as I'm usually hanging off her

                 neck anyway. "she" always takes us two out together, but I'm the one that

                 all the "strange faces" make a fuss of, and don't I just love it as well.

                 Sometimes we get "strange faces" bring more dogs to the house, I've

                 learnt that they are either Lily's or Paige's children come to visit, and boy

                 all hell is let loose then, after Lily has checked them over it's my turn.

                 We play, we argue and then we fight, not bad fighting, just pretend

                 fighting, but our "strange faces" think differently, so they make us stay at

                 opposite ends of the room. But we have the last laugh because we call

                 each other names across the room so loud that they decide to let us play

                 again. Lily growls at me and says "it will all end in tears". Yeah but it won't

                 be mine I shout back, as I pin another enemy to the ground and become

                 King of The Castle for the fourth time.

                 It's not all fun though, I don't like it when "she" takes out the other dogs

                 and don't take me, and I tell her so, and anyone else who is in the noise

                 zone. I shout and shout until "she" comes back. Then every so often I get

                 something squirted into my mouth, I try to spit it out but it sticks to the

                 inside of my mouth, and I look like some rabid dog with white foam coming

                 from my mouth.
     

                 Paige tells me it's to kill any worms that I might have, she then goes into

                 graphic details of what worms can do to a puppy like me, she's got a sick

                 sense of humour her, or she's been watching to many horror films. Either

                 way I'm glad "she" is making sure I don't get any.

                 Then "she" sprays me with some smelly stuff, and rubs it all into me.

                 Paige then again is free with her graphic details of the horror of fleas.

                 She's enough to give a puppy nightmares for days.

                 I hate it as well when "she" goes out with "him" and leaves us all on our

                 own. It's never for very long, and we all just sit around and tell horror

                 stories of how Paige used to destroy the house when she was a puppy,

                 and when they come home and see that we have all been "very good"

                 we get treats like, squeaky balls, and doggy treats of all different tastes,

                 and happiness rules the house again.

                 Sometimes "strange faces" come to visit without dogs, but "she" won't let

                 them say anything to me until I'm out in the kitchen, something to do with

                 me being too excited, and leaving a trail of piddle, anyway that's what Tia

                 says, and she doesn't say much so it must be true.

                 Sometimes I sit by the back door and I can hear a wailing sound, and I

                 think I can do that, so I let out my own wailing sound, it's fun doing that.

                 Well It's my favourite time of day. "She" has just given us our tea, and has

                 sat down on the sofa, I jump up and sit next to her, put my paws on her

                 lap, and "she" is gently patting me, and tickling my ears, and tummy, and

                 I think, Yes, It's good to be me.
 

                 25/11/99
                 It's been an interesting three weeks. My English has improved quite a bit.

                 All these strange faces I now know as to be people, and they have names

                 just like we do. I've learnt that all other dogs, and animals have names too.

                 I had a really bad day last week. "She" was putting out our breakfast, I was

                 very hungry, and it was my favourite, tripe. "She" was taking to long for my

                 hungry tummy to keep up with my drooling mouth, I was being very good

                 sitting to attention not taking my eyes off the delightful meal, something

                 distracted the other dogs and they went rushing out into the garden

                 barking. "She" turned to see what all the fuss was about, leaving nothing

                 between me and the wonderful dish on the table, all I wanted was a closer

                 look that was all.

                 It all happened so quick, I reached up and it all came tumbling down, with

                 a loud crash. I really didn't know the dish was made of china and would

                 break. The next thing I know, we were all put into another room while

                 "she" cleaned up the mess, putting everything into the bin, I put my head

                 on my paws and cried, all that wonderful tripe. Lily was very cross with

                 me. "There are five dogs and only four pounds of tripe left, someone will

                 have to go without", she said. " It won't be me. I muttered" still crying into

                 my paws. I was right it wasn't me, it was Herman. He got Tuna instead,

                 now I don't quite know what Tuna is, only the others said they

                 would have swapped their breakfast for it.

                 Another thing that fascinates me is the thing that "she" pushes around the

                 house. It's amazing. All our fur that has dropped off gets picked up by it,

                 and then "she" has this long nose that she puts over the sofas and it all

                 the fur disappears. Even the other dog's love this long nose taken over

                 them. Now if you ask me, I wouldn't trust it, anything that growls that loud

                 and that long has to be kept an eye on, and this day "she" had left it alone,

                 so me being me checked it out. It was very quiet, and before I new it the

                 plug was off, honest, it just fell off in my mouth. Well that's the way I'll tell it.

                 By the time "he" was home "she" told him that she needed a break from us.

                 So once again we were on our own. Which I didn't like at all.                

                 When "they" came home there was a Cushing on the floor and a big hole in

                 the sofa where the Cushing should have been. "They" were not happy, but

                 the best thing about it was that "he" blamed Tia and "she" blamed Paige,

                 and I just sat there telling them what a good boy I've been and where was

                 my treat. Now I'm not going to tell you who really done it, but the next day

                 I sort of dropped myself in it. Not thinking, I got on the sofa kicked the

                 Cushing off and got stuck in, well really it wasn't a sofa, to me it was some

                 soft earth with a tasty bone to dig for, but "she" has no imagination, and to

                 her it was still a sofa. "SALEM" boy can she shout, "GET OFF THE SOFA"

                 What could I do, I was caught red pawed, so I got all cute waged my tail

                 and said "NO". "SALEM GET DOWN". I guess I'm going to have to work

                 harder at this cute thing.
 

                 You guessed it. Tia and Paige were let off the hook. But me, I was hooked,

                 one day I'm digging for bones, the next I'm a pirate looking for treasure,

                 and it all involved this wonderful sofa. Hence by the time I was finished

                 with it, the sofa looked like it had sickness and diarrhoea, and it was all

                 over the living room.

 
                 "She" has since bought a new one which she guards very well.

                 "They" decided last weekend that I should be introduced to more people

                 and more animals, so they took me to a pet store, (one of the rare places

                 that dogs are welcome). I was a little worried about where I was going, as

                 it wasn't long after the sofa incident. I got a little worked up in the van, by

                 the time we got to the pet store "she" said I looked like I had eaten a

                 shoe and the laces were handing out of my mouth, "she" had to wipe my

                 mouth before we went into the store.

                 "They" had a chat to one of the assistants, who thought I was wonderful,

                 and the more he gives me treats the more I thought how wonderful he was.

                 There were lots of people of all different sizes, and I was a hit with all of

                 them, I just showed them how happy I was by wagging my tail very fast

                 when they spoke to me.

                 We went and looked at the animal, I didn't think much of the fish, or rabbits,

                 but boy oh boy there was this bird, her name was Lucy and she was born

                 the same month as I was this year. She was a white Cockatoo, and she

                 was be-eaut-tiful, she was very white and was showing me her wings.

                They reached from one side of her cage to another. She kept saying

                 "hello" and showing off by handing upside down. I went over and gave

                 her a sniff, not too close mind, her claws were very long and she kept

                 reaching for me. She made this really loud screeching sound like she was

                 hurt, but when I went to investigate she would quickly try to grab me with

                 her long claws. She kept asking me to come closer. I said "yeah right" but

                 kept just outside her reach. "They" decided that enough chit chat, and we

                 moved on, but I promised to visit her again.

 
                 "She" makes "him" sleep a lot downstairs, and I can understand why too.

                 The first time I heard it I was very confused, he was making some very

                 strange noises, first of all I thought he had a bone, because he sounded

                 like he was munching on it, then he must have thought another dog was

                 going to take it as he started growling really loud. Louder than I could ever

                 growl. I did investigate, but couldn't find any bone. He must have a picture

                 of a bone in his head I thought, I get that sometimes, but it must have been

                 some bone as he kept growling a long time, my bones only last me a

                 minute. Sometimes he keeps me awake for hours, so in the end I go

                 upstairs to see if she'll let me sleep with her. She is very understanding

                 when I go in and tell her that I can't sleep. She picks me up (I'm too tired

                 to jump up) onto the bed and sleep comes fast. 

                                                           Me looking for bones

                 Sometimes I get scary pictures in my mind when I'm asleep at night, but I

                 know she'll make them go away. I wake her up telling her that I'm scared,

                 she just picks me up saying "Bad Dream Boy?" "come on, I'll give you a

                 cuddle", and once again I'm on the bed with her, and she strokes me until

                 I'm fast asleep, and all the scary pictures have gone.

                 I really like the bed, but one thing I've learnt about it is that you don't sleep

                 near the edge when you sneeze YOU FALL OFF. I know because it

                 happened to me. One minute I was being stroked and cuddled, the next

                 thing I was under the bed. "She" at first was very concerned, but when

                 she saw I was staying under the bed to hide my embarrassment, "she"

                 found it very funny.

                 19/11/99
                 What a wonderful day it has been today. Yesterday we had all this white

                 stuff fall from the sky and cover the ground, we've spent nearly all day

                 playing in it. That is me, Lily and Paige. "They" have taken Herman out

                 somewhere, and we've had a dog sitter in with us, and when that happens

                 Tia sulks and won't come down from the bedroom. The sitter has been

                 making balls out of the white stuff, I call them magic balls, because when

                 she throws them they land and then they disappear. It's a very good trick,

                 as she is the only one who can find them again, and it's never where the

                 last one disappeared to. I was just so happy to look for them.

                 25/12/99
                 Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas.

                 It's been a really long day for me today. It started like any other day,

                 then I got given a parcel. "She" put it in my mouth, well you didn't have to

                 ask me twice, I went quickly off to the corner and ripped the paper off, and

                 in it there was a whole packet of chews for me, I couldn't believe it. The

                 other's had the same packets but they weren't interested in them at all.

                 So I opened them too. "She" unfortunately decided that a few chews would

                 be enough for me, and saw to it that I only got them. Then "she" had some

                 parcels of her own to open, and me now being an expert at opening them,

                 decided to help her, but I soon lost interest when I saw they weren't edible.

                 By then there seemed to be rather a lot of paper on the floor that needed

                 my other expert help (how to make one magically turn into eight) and I was

                 lost in the moment, until "she" picked it all up. It was a wonderful day

                 with lots of people visiting and giving me treats and cuddles. I went asleep

                 that night a very full and happy puppy.

                 31/12/99

                 Nothing much happened during the day time, but everyone seemed to

                 have gone mad this evening. "He" had gone out some time ago, but she

                 stayed with us. It was very dark, then the whole sky seemed to light up.

                 There were some very loud bangs, and Herman shot under the bed. He

                 missed some very pretty colours in the sky. I asked the other dogs what

                 was going on, but they didn't know or they were to busy watching the

                 colours. Then as if "she" understood me, she said, "they're fireworks boy,

                 to welcome in the New Year". She then gave us all hugs, I didn't

                 understand, but I like hugs anyway, so I gave her a big wet kiss.
 

                 "She" has decided that as I'm telling you stories of my family that the

                 stories should have a title. So there it is SALEM'S LOT, nothing to do with

                 the Vampire's and witches of the town Salem, more to do with the cat that

                 appears in the T.V. program Sabrina the teenage witch Salem. Frankly I'm

                 not sure which one I would prefer. I like the thought of being cute and

                 everyone wanting to smooth me, but I sometimes like to be scary.

                 Mind you "She" can give a few lessons on how to be scary. Here's a fine

                 example. Tia is a sensitive dog, When "She" is in home Tia likes to be

                 able to see her. Sometimes "She" manages to go upstairs without Tia but

                 it isn't long before Tia realises this and proceeds up the stairs to look for

                 her. She doesn't go up the stairs very fast now because one day when

                 Tia was doing her usual proceeding "She" stood behind her bedroom

                 door waiting for her, well you can guess what happened next. There was

                 a very loud BOO from "Her" followed by a yelp from Tia as all four paws

                 left the floor, as she rushed back down the stairs. Leaving "Her" in fits of

                 laughter to follow her. Now I'd like to learn that trick.

                 18/01/00
                 "She" has been a bit flustered this morning, talking on the phone a lot, the

                 other dogs seemed to sense that something was up and stayed out of her

                 way. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't do it, I wanted my usual

                 attention. Hence I was finely shut in the kitchen while "She" dashed

                 around doing things. I was most annoyed and told her so. But my opinion

                 fell on deaf years. Finely things became very clear as the day went on.

                 Jayne and Paul who had previously bought three of Lily's pups had

                 arrived, armed with all three pups, three very nice girls I must add.

                 They were only two weeks older than me, and I had played with them all

                 before but not all at the same time. I couldn't contain my excitement any

                 longer and "She" at last let me out to greet them. I tried to ask them

                 questions, but you're talking about three girls here so I couldn't get a word

                 in, so I gave up and we had a good play fight instead.

                 It turns out that Jayne and Paul were moving and had asked "Her" to look

                 after the three girls, so I was really pleased when I discovered that the

                 three of them would be here for me to play with tomorrow, and the next

                 day, and the next, and the next. In fact they were here for ten weeks in

                 total.

                 The three of them couldn't be any more different in personality, First there

                 was Rosie, "She" said her name should be changed to Harriet (after the

                 Harrier jump jet) as "She" had never seen a dog leap with all four paws at

                 the same time from a standing position. except when she scared Tia that

                 one time). She was never still, and she and I had to be separated once or

                 twice when our playing got a little out of hand. "He" would be sitting quietly

                 reading the paper, then all of a sudden Rosie would rush in leap on "Him"

                 pin his head to the sofa with her paw and proceed to wash his face from

                 ear to ear, and never waiting around for so much as a thank you before

                 she was off on another mission.

                 Then there was Daisy she was the image of her mum, in fact "She" had to

                 leave Daisy's collar off so that she could tell the difference between them.

                 The other difference being Daisy's nose was darker. Daisy I think, thought

                 she was a cat as she would sit on the back of the sofa (which was placed

                 in front of the window) for hours watching the outside world go by,

                 growling and woofing at any one who she thought deserved it.

                 The trouble was that one growl or woof would set the others off, and

                 before you new it the Scary "She" would come in and tell them all off.

                 Not me, I'm a Good boy.

                 Last but not least there was little Lily, now how was "She" going to get

                 around that one you ask. Simple "She" changed little Lily's name to

                 Prudence. Prudence was the quiet one, if there was a scuffle going on

                 you would find her on the sofa, she was always the last to greet anyone,

                 but she would do it with manners and offer them her paw.

                 Rosie's ears were being very stubborn, and had not at five months gone

                 up. "She" had decided that no matter how many toilet rolls she shredded.

                 Rosie was not a Labrador and therefore her ears WILL go up, and after

                 seeking advice from other breeders started to tape her ears up. She did

                 look funny and was a prime target for us other pups, hence "She" spent

                 most of the time replacing the tape that we pulled off. What we didn't pull

                 off Rosie did. After about three weeks Rosie's ears went up.

                13/02/00
                 "She" has be very excited today, I can tell because she hasn't stopped

                 talking to "Him" about dogs, now that's not unusual in our house but there

                 was something being planned. Sure enough in came our sitter, and both

                 of them went out. It felt like days but it was really only hours later "They"

                 came home I was so pleased to see them, and I could tell that they had

                 missed me too. I had such big hugs and kisses, very nice but where was

                 my treat? Instead we were all shut out into the garden. I was just about to

                 complain when "She" let us in five minutes later. Then I saw another dog

                 in the kitchen. It stopped us all in our tracks. Woof.... She was gorgeous.

                 It turn out her name was Skye, she needed a new home, and "She"

                 wonderful "She" had said she could live with us.

                 It took a couple of days for Skye to be brave enough to come out of the

                 kitchen and for me to have a good look at her, but it was worth it.

                19/02/00
                 I'm getting some strange feelings for Tia, I don't know what it is but I feel I

                 must be by her side at all costs. "She" is a little concerned about my

                 attentions but I have age on my side, and "She" thinks I'm a little to young

                 for amorous thought. Wrong!!! Tia is the love of my life, I've been following

                 her around now for six days now not knowing quite why. All I know is that

                 when "She" took Tia upstairs I couldn't be apart from her and howled and

                 howled until we were together. There will never be another love for me.

                 26/02/00
                 Guess what. I'm in love. Her name is Skye. This time "She" is making sure

                 that I keep as far away for her as if I was a full grown Shepherd. "She"

                 waved her finger at me and said "no chance Casanova".

                 They let Sky settle in for a week then it was the usual outing to the vet,

                 this time they took me as well, just to get me checked over, so many

                 strange smells to investigate, so little time to do it, and before I new it we

                 were back home, but not before they weighed me. I weighed a strapping

                 36kg at six and a half months, "She" now refers me to as "The Beast"

                16/03/00
                 Anna arrived today. Who you might ask is Anna? Anna is a litter sister to

                 Rosie, Daisy and Prudence. Anna was sold as a pup to a family who didn't

                 understand her, she was then passed on to another family who had her

                 for two weeks and then put her into rescue centre.

                 "She" only found out after checking up on her with her new owners, that

                 she had been in rescue a week. Paul and Jayne were determined (Rosie,

                 Daisy, and Pru's Mum and Dad) to have her, But Anna would have to stay

                 with us for about a week as their house was still not ready. "She" got in

                 touch with the rescue centre who were only too pleased for her to be

                 returned to her breeder. So home she came.

                 Now "She" had a special bond with the litter that Anna came from,

                 because "She" had to hand raise them all. All nine of them. Perhaps "She"

                 will tell you that story another time.

                 Anyway Anna arrived a very underweight puppy. "She" couldn't believe

                 how thin she was, and all effort was made to settle her in.

                 After a couple of days it became more obvious that being under weight

                 was not her only problem. Sadly, after having to be operated on and only

                 being eight months old, she unexpectedly passed away. "She" was very

                 sad, not even my kisses could console her.

                 26/03/00
                 This was the day that Anna died. "She" was so sad that "He" took her out.

                 They went all the way to Birmingham to see Herman's first litter this year.

                 They were seven weeks old, and the perfect remedy to cheer anyone up.

                 Not even I can compete with eight little pups.

                 "She" came home still sad, but I took over were the pups left off, and told

                 her I loved her very much, with kisses and cuddles all night long.

                 02/04/00
                 Well today the girls left to go to their new home. It will be very quiet here

                 now without them, but you can rest assured that I will keep "Her" on her

                 toes. I'll start with shredding some paper, then I'll paddle in the drinking

                 water and walk through the house go upstairs where she is working and

                 lay on the bed. Oops "She" has just realised that I'm very wet and has told

                 me to get off the bed, I like this game, I pretend not to hear her and she

                 try's to persuade me to get off the bed, before it's to late. I get cute and

                 start rolling all over the bed, which end up the bed and her wet, and me

                 dry. Not bad for ten minutes work, and I've still got the evening to go.

                  The End (for now)

                  Love Salem    

                  Back  to Salem

                     © Soothsayer 2006